Sidequest: The Cowsay Pipeline | Max Power's Mod Shop

"Okay," I said. "We've been serious. Validation workflows, checking config files, making sure things don't break. But CI/CD can do anything you can do in a terminal."

Max raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"Like generating ASCII art cows that say whatever you want."

😕

Max

...what?

"Let me introduce you to cowsay. It's a command that's been around since 1999. Absolutely pointless. Absolutely delightful."

$Try cowsay locally

$ sudo apt install cowsay
$ cowsay "Hello, DevOps!"
 ________________
< Hello, DevOps! >
 ----------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

terminal output(text)


< Hello, DevOps! >
    \   ^__^
     \  (oo)\_______
        (__)\       )\/\
            ||----w |
            ||     ||

Click to expand

Max

This is the most useless thing I've ever seen.

I love it.

"Now let's make a GitHub Action that generates a cow every time you push."

The Cowsay Workflow

.github/workflows/moo.yml(yaml)

name: Moo

on: push: branches: main workflow_dispatch: # Also allow manual runs

jobs: moo: runs-on: ubuntu-latest steps: - name: Install cowsay run: sudo apt-get update && sudo apt-get install -y cowsay

  - name: Generate wisdom
    run: |
      export PATH=$PATH:/usr/games
      echo "Today's bovine wisdom:"
      cowsay "Push complete! $(date)"
      echo ""
      cowsay -f tux "The penguin approves."
      echo ""
      cowsay -f dragon "Dragons guard your code."

Click to expand

"The workflow_dispatch trigger means you can also run this manually from the Actions tab. For when you need cow wisdom on demand."

😮

Max

Wait, there are different animals?

"cowsay -f tux uses a penguin. -f dragon uses a dragon. There's a whole zoo in there."

Making It Actually Useful (Sort Of)

"Okay, let's make this slightly more practical. What if every push generated a 'build report' in cow format?"

.github/workflows/moo-report.yml(yaml)

name: Cow Build Report
on: push
jobs:
report:
runs-on: ubuntu-latest
steps:
- uses: actions/checkout@v4
  - name: Install cowsay
    run: sudo apt-get update && sudo apt-get install -y cowsay

  - name: Generate report
    run: |
      export PATH=$PATH:/usr/games
      
      # Count files
      FILES=$(find . -type f -name "*.yml" -o -name "*.yaml" | wc -l)
      
      # Get commit message
      MSG=$(git log -1 --pretty=%B)
      
      echo "========== MOO REPORT =========="
      cowsay -f stegosaurus "Found $FILES YAML files"
      echo ""
      cowsay "Last commit: $MSG"
      echo ""
      cowsay -f dragon "Build status: LEGENDARY"
      echo "================================"

Click to expand

"Now your build logs have personality. Is it professional? No. Is it fun? Absolutely."

"One more variant. There's another classic Unix command called fortune that generates random quotes. Combine them..."

.github/workflows/fortune-cow.yml(yaml)

name: Fortune Cookie Cow
on:
workflow_dispatch:
schedule:
- cron: '0 12 * * *'  # Daily at noon UTC
jobs:
wisdom:
runs-on: ubuntu-latest
steps:
- name: Install tools
run: sudo apt-get update && sudo apt-get install -y cowsay fortune-mod
  - name: Generate daily wisdom
    run: |
      export PATH=$PATH:/usr/games
      echo "=== Today's Fortune ==="
      fortune | cowsay -f $(ls /usr/share/cowsay/cows | shuf -n 1)

Click to expand

"This picks a random cow file and feeds it a random fortune. It runs at noon every day. You'll never know what you're going to get."

🤔

Max

So wait... serious question. Companies actually use CI/CD for real work, right? Not just ASCII cows?

"Of course. But here's the thing—the same mechanics that make a cow say things can also deploy your code, run thousands of tests, or spin up infrastructure. It's all just 'run these commands when this happens.'"

"The cow is proof of concept. The production pipeline is the same thing, just with different commands."

Other Fun Ideas

💡More Silly Pipelines

figlet: Generate ASCII art text banners
lolcat: Rainbow-colored output
sl: A steam locomotive that runs across your screen (punishment for typing sl instead of ls)
neofetch: System info with ASCII art logo
asciiquarium: An aquarium in your terminal

None of these are "useful." All of them teach you how CI works.

You've learned the most important lesson: CI/CD is just commands. Any commands.

# Your moo template
name: Moo
on: workflow_dispatch
jobs:
  moo:
    runs-on: ubuntu-latest
    steps:
      - run: |
          sudo apt-get install -y cowsay
          /usr/games/cowsay "Your message here"

The serious pipelines work exactly the same way—just with more useful commands.

Return to Chapter 5 →

< Hello, DevOps! >

The Cowsay Workflow

Making It Actually Useful (Sort Of)

The Fortune-Cookie Cow

Other Fun Ideas